The Sandwich Generation:  Providing Care to Aging Parents and Growing Children

There is a growing population in the country known as “The Sandwich Generation.”  Over 20 million people caught between providing care for their aging parents and their young children. Many of these caregivers are faced with overwhelming responsibilities and difficult choices.  To make this even more challenging is the onset, in record numbers, of those parents who are developing Alzheimer’s disease, Parkinson’s disease and other related dementias.   Balancing the care demands for all concerned takes planning, organization and careful consideration.
If your parent(s) live with you:

• Your parent will want to feel part of the household.  Share all your expectations in advance and ask if they can handle some responsibility.
• Provide a separate room and phone for space and privacy if possible.
• Contact local, civic, and religious organizations to find out about programs that will involve your parent in the community.
• Work with other family members and ask for help.  Ask them to provide temporary care for your parent at times to allow you a much-needed break.
• Ask your children to take responsibility for certain chores, but don’t ask them to be the caregiver.

Your children will feel the effects of this situation more than you might realize.  You may find that you are preoccupied with your parents care and neglect the needs of the children.  Here are some things to consider in balancing the needs of everyone:

• Give the children an opportunity to ask questions about changes in the family now that you are providing care for a parent.  Answer them truthfully.
• If your children are teenagers, discuss their future college plans.  If money is tight, they may have to alter their plans and attend a less costly school or take a job and help out with the expenses.
• Encourage your children to pay for school with loans that they will be able to repay with future salaries.  Do not use your retirement account to pay for school.  Your pension will be the only income you have later on.
• Don't neglect your own family when taking care of a parent. Even though your parent may have more pressing needs, your first duty is to your children who depend on you for everything.

Most importantly, take care of yourself and keep the lines of communication open with your spouse, parents, children, and siblings.

If you find yourself a member of “The Sandwich Generation” and need help finding resources and solutions or you want to explore assisted living options for your parent(s), contact Becky Feola at the NJF Center for Caregivers at (480) 473-4969 or visit their website at www.njfcenter.org.